tagalog jokes

Boy and girl in bed:
Boy : Is this your first time?
Girl: Oo naman! Why do you guys always ask the same question?

Three guys were introduced to a girl:
" Hi, I'm Peter, not a saint!"
" I'm Paul, not a pope."
"I'm John, not a baptist."
The girl gladly replies, "Hi, I'm Mary, not a virgin!"

A playboy died. During his funeral mass:
Priest: He's an honest guy, a good man, a family man!
Wife (whispers to her son): Anak, silipin mo nga ang kabaong. Baka hindi mo tatay ang nan dyan.

Bata #1: Ang kamote ni Lolo sobrang laki. Isang araw namin kinain!
Bata #2: Yung pakwan ng tatay ko, tatlong araw namin kinain!
Bata #3: Wala yan sa mani ng Inay ko. Gabi gabi kinakain ng tatay ko, hangang ngayon hindi pa rin ubos!
***
Madre: Father, ano po ba past time ng mga pari?
Pari: Ah, tuwing hapon, naglalaro kami ng mahjong.
Madre: Bakit mahjong?
Pari: Kasi dun lang kami nakakasalat ng "Flower"
***
Pari #1 :  Father secret ito sa inyo ko lang sasabihin, may nabuntis akong parokyana.
Pari #2 : Okay lang yan, ako bading, may boyfriend akong sakristan.
Pari #3 : Ako naman " Madaldal"